Humor?

I have always loved making people laugh. I can remember as clear as day the first time I consciously made people laugh. I was in the first grade, we had this cool slide that whirled around, super cool slide...but not fat friendly. Anyway, I was going down this slide, and well, as I head around the corner of the twist my ass got caught 'cause I am a totally on fashion patrol in a squort. As I am coming down I hear this bitch Ericka (who I hated since she had all of these badass scented pens and crayons that I always wanted) making fun of me for making the slide screech. I was like 'EFFFF her", nobody even likes that bitch, haha [truthfully I remember thinking this]When I get to the end of the slide my friends are there asking if I was ok,  and I yell "I felt that all the way in my asshole"!  I mean, I remember my friend Tony's face contort into these crazy twists from the shock and hilarity. Jerry Garcia (real name!) was the one who told me that whuuuer Ericka was laughing. Everyone was laughing after I said "asshole". They all thought it was funny, and that was the birth of my potty mouth, but it got worse, I mean I would say anything that had a swear word in it...ANYTHING!! 'fuckstick', 'fuckass' anyyything! I realized because of Ericka that it was always better to make people laugh than to make someone feel like shit, 'cause what I said felt better. But that schtick got old, eventually things had to get better. I had to do other stuff to make people laugh...things we'll talk about later. Regardless, this is the moment in time, this was the turning point, this was when I realized my power...and yes, I see it as power.

As I got a bit older, I'd say around the fourth grade I began to appreciate comedy as a real thing, as something that exsisted for a purpose. I also discovered SNL and MadTv! Improv and sketch comedy really ruffled my feathers, I loved it, I would secretly stay up passed my nine o' clock bedtime every Saturday night to watch. I learned about timing, and the importance of wit and characters. Ohhh, this was a revolution for me, I realized I didn't have to be Monica being funny, I could be Monica being ANYONE being funny! I lived in Delaware at the time, and had one friend, her name was Kelly CoFransisco, I can never forget her because she told me I was funny and we both loved Alanis Morissette! Around the seventh grade I would toy with different personas, I'd come to the table dressed as a Majaraja Princess, Sadaam Hussein and once a Hooker (all real) for dinner. My goals as I was preparing in my bedroom for dinner, were to come out to the table and not laugh or break character for the meal's entirity. I usually met my goal and managed to annoy/freak out/crack up my family, so I got more and more comfortable. blah blah blah! In H.S I got caught up and typical Highschool stuff took over, then I met my friend John freshman year, boy together we could get a crowd going. We were in New Orleans once with our High School band and we were on a dinner cruise, there were about 6 other schools from around the country on there and we had them in the palm of our hand...pretty hilarious. I learned a lot from that moment, commanding a crowd's attention and holding onto it until I was done muahahahaha!

I have to mention, though, that this mouth of mine [and I know what you are thinking "what a great mother"] cannot be blamed on my mother or father...no..it's Grandma! Every freaking morning my grandmother would wake up at four.fucking.A.M. UGH!!! and at 3 or 4 years of age I would wake up everymorning to the sound of newsprint shuffling in the kitchen, with the sound of my grandmother complaining about all of the "GOT DEM" bad news. She'd be reading the obituaries (which I am sure is why whenever I pick up a newspaper I go straight for the metro section) just chatting with herself about how young someone was, or wondering how they could have died...sometimes she'd find obituaries of our family members we'd lost touch with over the years and cry and call every freaking person in our family to tell them someone we didn't care about had died, which I always thought was super awkward. Then we'd get dragged to these depressing funerals, as the same funeral home every.time. {since there's one in our family, and Gd forbid we give anyone else business...or that our family passes up a good funerary discount}, I have definitely gone on a rant now, and I want to stop.
BUT
I
CANNOT

ready? ok so this has nothing to do with funny shit or cussing anymore. Now, it's just about why I am weird. kinda. Def. not the whole explaination, but something to wet your whistle...
 So, as my Great-Grandfather got older, my Grandmother, being the eldest, took responsibility for his care. She moved him in with her and they pretty much lived together for a few years until he got cancer and died. Well let me tell you something, this guy was a total jerk. I know, I know, don't speak ill of the dead...whatever. UGH! I mean, I am telling you. He was a freaking racist, a meanie and he would always yell at me. Granted I was like 4 or 6 when I was around him the most, but he gave me the creeps so hard I started to hate going to my Grama's house. ANYWAY, we'd always find him in the dumpster digging around for shit, he couldn't bathe himself, but he sure the hell could climb into a FUCKING DUMPSTER to grab a bronze horse or someone's old pair of underwear he decided were still good enough to keep[actual finds]. So, basically he'd leave the house in secret, dressed in a suit with a hat, Stacey Adams shoes and a cane...real secret huh? sometimes he would leave through the window or while Grama was sleeping, anyway, he'd leave and then when Grama figured it out she'd go nuts looking for him and invariably we'd find him in an 'effing dumpster. ok ok ok so here's where the story goes funky...Great Great (which is what we called him ironically) gets sick, he's totally dying, diapers, Hospice the whole nine. One night after his priest came over to give him the last rites, everyone comes over to visit and have a final chat with him. As the night wears on, he's totally still alive so everyone goes home around 1 a.m. and I remember this because I have the memory of....well whatever animal has a really awesome memory. Oh!Also because after EVERYONE leaves and it's just me and my Grama she calls me into the room she and her dying father were in. Grama's a good Catholic, and being a good Catholic means calling on Gd at just the right moment, so she's praying on her Rosary beads and humming shit all exorcist-like coming out from her trance just long enough to say "Look at him, he's dying". OK WTF Grama!?? Who does that?? I mean really who does that? My Grama that's fucking who!!  So what do I do? I mean come on, I am a good kid! So I look...DUH! The old douche is gurgling and totally dying and I am sitting there with my Grama, like, "ok now can I got to bed?" BUT no!! no! Sleeping can not happen, that would be too damn normal. But, you know what does happen next? Grama finishes her prayers and won't let me leave and makes me pray with her, at this time it's 1:23 (which I also remember because, well 1,2,3..DUH! plus the animal thing) we go on for a good ten minutes because of all the freaking beads, and as we say "amen" what does Grama do?? Call the mortuary? No. Call my freaking Mom? No. The cops? shit, I don't know who you call when people die. She has to finish him off I guess, so she proceeds to jump on top of him, like, mount, and at the top of her lungs is yelling "DADDY, NO, DADDY, don't go!!"
-PAUSE-
At this point, I know, I am totes coming off as a fucked up, callous 6 year old, But you guys gotta understand...he was soo mean! Logically, none of these things were making sense to me, she knew it was going to happen, she freaking called me into the room and put me on fucking deathwatch!! SHE KNEW!! All I am thinking is "what.the.fuck. is Grama doing on top of Gurgles McGee over there, and when can I sleep in the cool remote control hospital bed??" Luckily, I had my wits about me enough to call the only responsible human I could identify in the moment, Mom...and basically hers was the only number I knew next to 9-1-1, which clearly wasn't on the call list that night.

What does this tell you about me? maybe something, some kind of something...but what is says about Grandma is far more juicy. I have spent a lot of time with that woman, I love her dearly; but this, me, random creepy effed up me, is totally her fault...My Mom's not cool enough for that honor.

Vintage

I pretty much wear my brain on my sleeve, so this blog will be more informative from this point forward than an emotional outlet, since I use my mouth for that.

Things have been well, well, well enough.

I have been obsessing more now than ever about moving to Portland, Oregon, Although I can guarantee you that the plans are nearly always made out of boredom, with no true desire or ability at this current juncture, than anything else. Merr whatevs

I went shopping yesterday with my friend Abbey to find her some extra items for her closet, I love old shit, I love making old shit into new shit; I am going to reconstruct some stuff and I am pretty excited, since I haven't had many creative outlets lately. hahahahaha...

^That's mom. Speaking of vintage. These will get better. Maybe I'll get my Deepak on soon. For now follow me @mdornuincka on Twitter! wooop

Endings...beginnings

I look forward to this next chapter in life and where it may lead me. Maybe Portlandia? or Seoul ? 

Moving forward...

I just recently purchased a couple of new makeup items, I am also thinking of making this my Digital portfolio Makeup Blog. It would just be a great way to create a look book with a consistent model...myself! 

I love it! it has a couple of correctors and a nice kinda over shimmery highlighter, but the colors blend well and the price was AWESOME! of course. I also made a little blusher palette purchase since I am currently only stocked with about 6-7 blushers.:::nono:::

Also got some silica powder and little lashes!! 40 pairs of lashes to be exact! so expect some looks...perhaps tomorrow! So happy today and feeling great, I have a jewelry show Friday and I am also going to be sitting int he front row with my great friends watching an awesome show! CAN.NOT. WAIT. to see  

Goodnight 

 

Albert Einstein

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh

Oh so confused. Sometimes I get confused by people, but I have to understand that not everyone is like me, HAH! no one is like me...that's why we're different right?

Well sometimes I come to question my value in my situation, where do I stand, why am I here? I think to myself, self (as my grandpa says) why are you here? And I can answer that question, I really can; I have a desire to be here to fulfill a need of my own, I have chosen to help...sometimes when help isn't needed on my behalf..when I am not the one who should be helping. My hands are only needed when others can't or won't do the work.
 just feels shitty is all. I need to exit stage left.

That is neat

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I am slowly beginning to reject previously accepted truths and am finding that those truths and ideas linger around humans in my life.

I know nothing about how things work between two people for a solid strong amount of time but I can recognize survival...I see survival and I know that is not a relationship.

I have decided that at 25 I should start driving. Leaving that at that nothing more to say.

Snowed in for almost a week and this is where my mind is. Zumba'd for an hour yesterday fells good, I really still like it a lot, soon I will have to find something else to fill my time. I am insanely bored with life at the moment but not in a position to transition yet, so I can  take the time to carefully plan my next move, which I don't mind. Although I am considerably outgoing I am also insanely cautious, I make choices that will work...no gambles.

Slowly I am allowing the idea of 'losing control' to not encompass negative connotations for me. I try to control so much around me, yet there is no positive effect on my life through this control. I am more willing now for Jesus, Menol (lol) or Buddha to take the wheel for now.

Brrr...So cold

This week in Dallas has been pretty intense on the weather side; we've had so much snow ice and hail beating us down and keeping us INDOORS! ahhhhh the worst.

I genuinely am obsessed with washing my hands, I don't know what it's about, I am pretty sure it's not too OCD although my hands look like sandpaper. Oh! but in this weather I do not enjoy washing my hands, they are like little ice sickles<------ thought it was cicles like popcicles. but clearly I got that wrong too auto check...

Saw a great comedian Jamie Kilstein probably the funniest comedian I have seen in a while with something to say. Super smart and amazingly funny, great delivery awesome jokes and enough random to keep me laughing in between.

I should make more people laugh like this girl.

ok enough funny today.

Testing Testing

Zumba! That's right, I started Zumba classes 2 weeks ago and it's so much fun. Looking forward to many changes in the coming months and adjusting to a new path for myself. It is interesting how we can go on in life thinking one idea and carrying it along with us throughout our lives and using it as a rule of thumb. Once you can really let go of the things that drag you around it is much easier to become your best self. I have moved through these last 25 years thinking that this one way, was the only way and now that I have taken that power into my own hands I know I am going to do good things for myself.

On my mind: life after college @ 25. Considering Cosmetology school, Makeup is a big part of my life as far as my artistic outlets are concerned. This has made me nuts over the last few months as the end of University for now, is near. Probably going to go here.

It is late, I am reading tons of books right now, brushing up on some Conrad and feeling a little bit craaazy.                                                  
                                                                                                                          God Daughter-LOVE

Tomorrow is another day, and I know it can only be as good as or better than today.