Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Oh so confused. Sometimes I get confused by people, but I have to understand that not everyone is like me, HAH! no one is like me...that's why we're different right?

Well sometimes I come to question my value in my situation, where do I stand, why am I here? I think to myself, self (as my grandpa says) why are you here? And I can answer that question, I really can; I have a desire to be here to fulfill a need of my own, I have chosen to help...sometimes when help isn't needed on my behalf..when I am not the one who should be helping. My hands are only needed when others can't or won't do the work.
 just feels shitty is all. I need to exit stage left.

Friday, February 4, 2011

That is neat


I am slowly beginning to reject previously accepted truths and am finding that those truths and ideas linger around humans in my life.

I know nothing about how things work between two people for a solid strong amount of time but I can recognize survival...I see survival and I know that is not a relationship.

I have decided that at 25 I should start driving. Leaving that at that nothing more to say.

Snowed in for almost a week and this is where my mind is. Zumba'd for an hour yesterday fells good, I really still like it a lot, soon I will have to find something else to fill my time. I am insanely bored with life at the moment but not in a position to transition yet, so I can  take the time to carefully plan my next move, which I don't mind. Although I am considerably outgoing I am also insanely cautious, I make choices that will gambles.

Slowly I am allowing the idea of 'losing control' to not encompass negative connotations for me. I try to control so much around me, yet there is no positive effect on my life through this control. I am more willing now for Jesus, Menol (lol) or Buddha to take the wheel for now.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Brrr...So cold

This week in Dallas has been pretty intense on the weather side; we've had so much snow ice and hail beating us down and keeping us INDOORS! ahhhhh the worst.

I genuinely am obsessed with washing my hands, I don't know what it's about, I am pretty sure it's not too OCD although my hands look like sandpaper. Oh! but in this weather I do not enjoy washing my hands, they are like little ice sickles<------ thought it was cicles like popcicles. but clearly I got that wrong too auto check...

Saw a great comedian Jamie Kilstein probably the funniest comedian I have seen in a while with something to say. Super smart and amazingly funny, great delivery awesome jokes and enough random to keep me laughing in between.

I should make more people laugh like this girl.

ok enough funny today.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Testing Testing

Zumba! That's right, I started Zumba classes 2 weeks ago and it's so much fun. Looking forward to many changes in the coming months and adjusting to a new path for myself. It is interesting how we can go on in life thinking one idea and carrying it along with us throughout our lives and using it as a rule of thumb. Once you can really let go of the things that drag you around it is much easier to become your best self. I have moved through these last 25 years thinking that this one way, was the only way and now that I have taken that power into my own hands I know I am going to do good things for myself.

On my mind: life after college @ 25. Considering Cosmetology school, Makeup is a big part of my life as far as my artistic outlets are concerned. This has made me nuts over the last few months as the end of University for now, is near. Probably going to go here.

It is late, I am reading tons of books right now, brushing up on some Conrad and feeling a little bit craaazy.                                                  
                                                                                                                          God Daughter-LOVE

Tomorrow is another day, and I know it can only be as good as or better than today.